he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
