Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize