Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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