Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
vagina is talking i cant
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
