he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
