he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
