Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
