K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
