NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The beer is more important than you right now.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
