3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
