He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize