then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
