that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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