Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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