Jerry, you need to find god
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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