we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize