absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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