well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
