we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
