i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
