Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize