I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize