that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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