she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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