i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
