You made me cry and you don't even care
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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