he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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