Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
