Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That's intense
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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