OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
