We're facebook friends in real life
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
