i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
