so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
