He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
youre lurking in front of me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
