GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I could fuck to npr.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
