I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
