I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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