Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
