I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
