this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
