his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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