I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
