Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Boobs speak an international language.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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