i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
