just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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