Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Even my vagina gasped.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize