Little spoons don't ask big questions
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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