CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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