were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
