Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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