I'm lost and stupid without you.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
