Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
