Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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