I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
