Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
