JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
