If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
