Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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