you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
