He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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