You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
