Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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