carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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