Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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