is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
