So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
